Really… I will probably have to break this mind dump up into a coup!e of few blogs…..  Let me start with I’ve been sick.     Very, very sick.  I’m not sure what type of plague stomach virus hit me, but it is the worst I’ve ever had in my life.  I couldn’t keep a single thing down for about three- four days, and I am still suffering from intense stomach cramps.  Yes I’ve already been to the doctor, only because it was so vicious I thought there might be something more serious wrong with me….  I’m still not convinced there isn’t more involved because I’m still suffering abdominal nausea and cramps…

Anyways.      During this time, I obviously wasn’t taking any of my prescription meds because I was terrified they would add additional nausea to my worsening state…  Well, of course I ended up going through a MAJOR breakdown (or three) but as of Thursday it will be a week.  I took two of my klonopin yesterday and today, but other than that, I’m off…  I talked to my husband about it, and we came to an agreement to try it..  Why?? BECAUSE MY BRAIN FEELS HEALTHIER!!!  when I realized this, I began researching the effects antipsychotic medications have on you after a period of time, and I suffer from EVERY single ailment on the list!!!  How scary is that????  I’m being carefully monitored, by my loving husband and family, and am taking care to be aware of my moods, emotions, and other things that could be altered, but I do feel so much better already….  It is scary to think that the drugs I was prescribed to improve my condition, symptoms and quality of life, actually are what caused me to sink lower than I’ve ever been in my life!!!  The images I posted were all saved right before this purge of sorts my body decided it was time for…..  Now, I look at them and think how sad they all are….  I remember who i was…  Who i am…  Who i am without the myriad of medications that have been pumped into my system by a drive through psycharist…. I’ll keep updating on how that process progresses, and move on to the second portion of my blog titled “too much for one blog:part 2”. 

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