I prayed for death.  Prayed to just sleep and never wake up.  Fuck, I’ve begged for it.  I don’t understand why I am even here anymore.  I know it isn’t because I want to be…

I’ve spent the day wanting to spend time with my husband.  It didn’t happen of course.  He loves spending time at the store, and with the people who come to the store, but staying awake for over 30 minutes with me seems to be a legitiment inpossibility.  I don’t know what the fuck a date feels like….  I don’t remember sex.  He is nice.  Why do I bitch?  

Just die already you dumb bitch.  He falls asleep because why would anyone ever want to be with you?  You aren’t the person you were before.  You spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week wanting to be dead.  No wonder you’re fucking lonely.  

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