I left the house for a couple of hours on Saturday.  I was proud of myself.  I tried to go on Sunday,but it didn’t work out because I needed to stay with the baby.  I love her, so very much, and I’m happy to step up and be the mother that she needs, it just has set me back so much.  I wouldn’t change it.   Without me, our family, this precious baby wouldn’t have a single person in the world to love her.  She’s been tossed around, neglected and abused all in her short 15 months of life before we got her.  We have had her for almost nine months now, and she’s so happy!  She walks now, is learning, and is loved.  I know the drugs she was born with in her system will be a long hard road to overcome, combined with her life before us, but she is doing amazing.  

So that’s what my life has been for the past nine months….  Mommy again.  My youngest was 14 when we were given the baby.  So basically we set the reset button and all I’ve been doing is staying here with her. 

My husband finally invited me to do something for the first time in so long I really don’t remember…. He invited me to go to breakfast with him this morning….  

He hasn’t gotten up yet and I’m worried.  I’m really afraid of how it will impact me if he doesn’t wake up to go.  Last night before he went to bed he promised me….   I hope….    

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