You think you’ve got depression?  You think you know?  You think you know what anxiety, panic attacks, agorphobia, depression with a primary of Ocd diagnoses feels like?  Fuck you!  You don’t have a fucking clue if your advice to me is to “take back my fucking life.”. You don’t know what it is to wake up and be in the middle of a panic attack and just start crying.  Or to get up, walk to the bathroom, and lock yourself in because things beyond that door are out of your control.  Hell, things on the inside of the door are out of your control too…  Can’t stop fucking crying, try to form words, but instead you’re simply fucking betrayed by yourself again. The damn secret spilling tears.  You can only hope to convince if those little secret tellers don’t spill…  

Change rooms, sit on the bed and the cool air from the fan blows over me tear stained face, and helps me to stop convulsing with crying…  It almost makes me remember what it felt like to drive in a car with the windows down.  So energizing…  I remember putting my entire arm in the window and letting the air pull my long hair out and blow it wild and crazy.  I remember the taste of the wind drying my lips….  I remember being free.  

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