I didn’t always want her.  Didn’t want to be her mom.  Was pissed to have to deal with the crap my husband wasn’t fucking dealing with, but I had made that promise to myself, and what kind of person breaks that kind of promise?  Fucking spineless fools that’s who.  I think that if you break a promise to yourself you are a Moral-less hyprocrite!  And those are two things I’m not!  

Well, for better or for worse, I became her mom.  She was almost three…  That was 13 years ago, and she is my child as much as the two I carried inside of my body….  

A few years ago, our family befell a great tragedy.. We lost our home in a wildfire…  A massive loss….  We haven’t recovered…

Well, during that time I began pushing Alex (my daughter) towards forming a relationship with her biological mother.  Alex was of course dismissive and hesitant to heed my advice, but she trusted me fully, so why wouldn’t she at least consider it?  Well, she did, and they have since formed a relationship.  Good job for the super-duper self confident stepmom!!!  Fuck that…  I screwed up…

You see, I have raised Alex…  We live 1500 miles away from her bio mom, and now Alex has decided she wants to go to school there….  And if she goes to school there, she will meet a guy and settle her life there….  

Now since this is my personal blog and I can say whatever the fuck I feel because it is anonymous, SCREW THAT!!!

I raised her!!  I took care of her!!! I brushed her hair, taught her to cook, taught her to clean, taught her art, taught her LIFE!!!!  And then I’m going to lose her?  

Now, what I say to the world…  

I think it is great that Alex is devoting some time to her other family while in college….

I hate always having to be so fucking perfect…  

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