So here’s a question I did a poll over the other day, and I found the answers to be quite surprising!
” Poll for a blog I’m piecing together… Please let me know if I have permission to publish your comments in my work.
Can hetero men and women have an intimate friendship and keep it platonic?”
Here are some responses:
“Yes, I have had this, he was my best friend. ..we were platonic but also intimate. …he was in love with me tho, and the only reason it was platonic was because I chose that. So idk if it counts lol and you have my permission now and forever lol”
“Yes. One of my closest friends for almost as long as I can remember is a guy. Our own partners have gotten in the way sometimes over the years and I totally understand that. I can say things to him and he to I that I would never ever say to anyone else I have no brother or he sister, so I guess we have taken that place in each other’s lives. It works.”
“If they can, then I’ve never experienced it. I have not once in my life had a close male friend who didn’t eventually confess his love. LOL”
“I think that it is determined solely by the character of the individual. I don’t believe it has anything to do with gender or sexuality. I’ve had many long, lasting and beautiful relationships, as friends, with heterosexual males. I’ve also had many turn to garbage because of sexually domineering jerks. I’ve had good male friends who put the moves on me and been turned down, and we were able to continue on with a great friendship. As I said, I believe it’s about character.”
“When you say intimate do you mean fuck buddies or brithers from another mother/ sisters from a different mister style of friendship?
If it’s the latter then yes it’s entirely possible and in my opinion more healthy then only having primarily homogendered friendships.
Out of who I would say my 6 closest friends are its an even 3/3 split. Did I at anyone point have romantic feelings for the women? Yes, but I think that is natural when you find someone of your preferred sex that can click with you on a certain level, however as the lust receeded the respect and bond stayed.
And you have my permission as long as I am referred to as the benevolent Sage Dick Jones”
And my personal favorite…
“Well, Harry put it this way to Sally…”What I’m saying is–and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form–is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” 😉❤🎬🎟”
These are just a handful of the responses I received from people…
Now here is the reply I offered to a gentleman who I’m chatting with (strictly platonic friendship)…
“Thank you for your response! I also have a bit of a clouded opinion that is sooooo involved, it would take me a book (or a very long blog 😉 ) to explain…
If I had to answer black and white with one sentence…. No. I think one person or another will have some type of flare up of ulterior emotion. Now, I also believe that said emotional flare up CAN be kept a secret, that it CAN and usually WILL pass if it is appropriately defused. So, that would mean my answer is yes!”
“It is hard isnt it, but how do you feel about friendships like I said where the other person is married. I mean I love your husband and you but I would be perfectly comfortable going to dinner with you or a movie. Talking of personal things or hugging. I wouldnt have a problem at all”
Me:”I feel like this… Many, MANY people have a “grass is greener” idealism so much of the time that depending on the other person, it could be wonderful, or it could be the death of a marriage. Here, let me lay it out, black and white…
I haven’t gone out to a “dinner and movie” with Blake (hubby fake name) in so many years, I honestly cannot remember. I hand to god can’t remember the last date we had. It feels like everything we ever do is responsibility this, responsibility that. We fight more lately than we ever have…. Now, let’s say you show up, take me out, we talk, laugh, and have a great time…. It would be soooo easy if you caught me in a moment of weakness for me to be slammed out of nowhere by a crush. You’re the type of guy I would date, and so you’ve already knocked the hardest part of the equation out without even trying. You’re a super guy…. You adore me, Blake, our family in a strictly stand up platonic type of way…. HOWEVER, there is a side to me you haven’t ever met… A part I don’t even think you know about… Despite the weight I’ve put on, I swear to god I’m part siren…. If I want to sleep with someone, be it male or female, I do…. Always…. Now, I am of very strong moral fiber, as are you….. But if you think about it, that could make it even worse!
Now, I would be 100% comfortable going with you, and Blake would be happy with me going, and we could carry on for years without a single thought ever popping up, I’m just saying, you’ve been single for a hot minute, and my marriage isn’t the story book tale it was, and we are in fact human. We aren’t bad people, we are in damn near everything we do, the best people we know how to possibly be…. We are the people other want to be like… But we are still human… And human nature isn’t always so gracious.”
Him:”I definatly, see and agree with what you say, we are human orsayi g that I also only spoke of marrie more honestly we are animal at are base. whether it be the want for love or the want of touch. A person could just want posative attention, or by becomi g physical, negative attention. Now I never addressed two single people, and quite frankly I Forget to classify myself here. I guess I think of myself as an anomaly its been so long since I’ve dated that i dont know that i can anymore so i dont think about it on my side which makes my thoughts un fair. the really nad part is christianity but the laws into place that we cant have different partners so in fact its not even natural for us to mate for life. Thusly when something happens people only feel bad due to the way they were raised.”
Last me:”Exactly. It is so easy in our day and time to just judge so quickly, so hastily! Many times I’ve said to Blake…”careful of that one.”. He always thinks I’m an idiot, but it’s just the opposite! I sometimes believe that married people are at a higher risk because we are so ” safe”. Something can happen without a single intent! Right amount of alcohol, the prime setting, a joke that makes a lingered stare over a laugh turn into a moment…. Even with that said, I don’t think it is reason to eliminate those relationships… I think they keep us human, keep us.. vibrant… remind us that we have the ability to attract, and to be attracted…”
So, my question to you, clearly devoted reader is this.. What’s your opinion on the subject??? Is a platonic friendship possible??? Feed me your thoughts!!